Thursday, April 20, 2006

Spounce Away


Well, folks, it's finals week, beginning in exactly 1 hour and 13 minutes. (I considered providing you the exact seconds, as we all know how important precision is, but really: a line must be drawn.) In that hour and 13 minutes, I should grade 9 more student homework assignments, at roughly 20 minutes each. In that hour and 13 minutes, I should also finish 3 take-home essay prompts due tomorrow by 10 AM. (All right, I confess: when I say "finish," I really mean "start." And when I say "start," I really mean "read the questions.")

So what does the advent of finals mean for us "diligent student" types? Right when I should be putting my nose to the grindstone, pedal to the medal, my shoulder to the wheel, or what have you, what am I doing instead?

Why, creating a blog, of course. No longer am I on the outside of all that is Cool with a capital C in the early twenty-first century. No longer will I wallow and despair in my Luddite tendencies. No longer will I be denied the privileges of saying things like, "Something funny happened to me yesterday. You should read about it on my blog." (This, in my mind, is nearly the embodiment of modern hauteur, surpassed only by phrases like, "Have your people call my people." Ah, I aspire to the day when I can say--and mean--such a pretentious thing. Alas, with a Ph.D. in linguistics as the plan, this day is far from likely.) Yes, that's right, dear reader: I will now officially break into the ranks of the technocrati, and my new-blossoming blog can be the blog created this second. (That's the average rate of new blogs created. Were you aware?)

Of course, this Finals Week Procrastination (capitalized in the most magnificently Teutonic way, of course, as if such orthographic conventions might count as studying for my German final) is nothing new. During finals week last semester, Optimistic and I crafted the best Board response ever. During finals week the semester before that, I started and finished Les Miserables, a thick tome of a book. During finals week the semester before that, I started rereading the Old Testament, and got halfway into Numbers within three days.

So, essentially, I am obligated to start this blog, if only to maintain my own long-standing tradition of wasting time in fantastically obvious ways. This is no mere spouncing*, friends; this is squandering.

You all may resume your normal activities now. If your normal activites happen to involve squandering, or even just spouncing, I know a great game. If you're actually trying to get work done, you'll kill me for even mentioning the name, so I'll just hint at it: it starts with Sn-, and rhymes with "brood," and it's not "Snyood."

*spounce, v. To waste time in small amounts by doing various activities, none of them significant in themselves, like playing "just one more" game of Minesweeper, writing "just one more" email, or reading "just one more" blog entry. Etymology: semantic extension from "spouncer," a small craft tool, or "innovative stenciling sponge on a handle." (See above image.)

28 comments:

Tolkien Boy said...

I must admit that spouncing is one of the greatest things you have exposed me to. The other was your mom.

Welcome to the wide world of bloggership. I'm more than proud to be the first to read you, the first to comment upon you, and the first, of course, to link you.

:D

Melyngoch said...

You've inspired me to update my links, which I've needed to do for months. Heaven knows (and hell does better) how many people I've been offending.

Unknown said...

I'm almost positive that I was the first non-Petra person to read the blog, although I declined to comment until today. So it goes.

But look! My name is blue and underlined here! And if you click on it, you can follow the link back to my blog! How cool!

B.G. Christensen said...

Welcome to blogdom, Petra. I might have to make a special link section for Fob Mascots.

FoxyJ said...

Yay for blogging--it's the best way to spounce. Also, yesterday I simultaneously ate Easter candy, cleaned the bathroom and watched Law and Order in a valiant effort to avoid writing a syntax paper. I tend to go for the trashy things when I'm spouncing--no reading Les Mis for me...

JB said...

That's funny. You started a blog for the same reasons I was reading blogs last night. Glad to see you've started one, though. I like your style of writing.

Anonymous said...

Petra, I think you mean hauteur, not haughter. And here I thought you had taken French. *shakes head sadly*

(Unless, of course, I am thinking of Katya or someone else who took French, in which case please forgive my presumption.)

Purple power!

*flashes some purple gang signs*

Th. said...

.

Spounce is still a wonderful word.

Petra said...

Squirrel Boy: You're right. I'm wrong. In my finals-induced haze, I was clearly confounding "hauteur" and "haughtiness." Shame on me.

(And yes, I have taken French. Double honte.)

B.G. Christensen said...

Why isn't your blog purple?

Anonymous said...

All is forgiven, Petra. Finals can have a terribly destructive influence on the mind. Plus, the gh in haughty is etymologically incorrect, so you can blame the illiterati in Early Modern English who snuck those extra silent letters in and thus complicated English spelling just a little bit more.

Petra said...

Dear Master Fob,

Why isn't your mom purple?

Love,

Petra

FoxyJ said...

I purpled your mom last night.

Ben said...

Dear Petra:

Regarding issues brought up in the Sanctum Sanctorum of Syntax, all systems are go, go, go. And the peasants rejoiced. The peasants being the former roommates, graced by an undeserved benevolence (because without me, it would just be evolence) in the way of small confectionary items. That is all.

Wiglaf said...

Les Miserables in a week??!

B.G. Christensen said...

Dear Petra,

If by my mom you mean my mom's blog, it is not purple because, like you, she chose the Minima White template and has not altered it. If you literally mean to ask why my mom is not purple, well, isn't that a silly question? Do you know any purple people?

Love,

Master Fob

P.S. As far as Pearcean semiotics/personality triangles go, I suspect my mom might be purple. I admit to having a limited grasp of the whole thing.

emily said...

Petra! I would offer you a formal welcome but it looks as though you're not really lacking in that kind of thing, seeing as how you already have 16 comments on your first post.

And thank you for the new word. Spouncing is exactly what I am doing right now instead of finishing my translation project. Yes, that's right.

Krista said...

Divinest of bovines, Petra. I think people love you.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Optimistic said nothing. Nothing at all. Certainly nothing that might have professed his love for someone other than Petra.

Petra said...

And now, my dear Uffish, I love you just for that.

(Yes, I'm just trying to pad the number of comments. Now I have 21!)

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