...but things very quickly got too metaphysical.
...but she wasn't his Type.
...but she told him, 'Don't even Sartre. It'd be absurd."
...but she was all about meme, meme, meme.
...but she didn't want to hear about his thing-in-itself.
...and he didn't care about her personality, only her paradox.
...later, their breakup was Absolute.
...all she did was quine, quine, quine.
...and he wanted to try the Original Position but couldn't get behind her veil.
...after some time they broke up because he was too deep, when they talked.
...but she spurned him categorically.
...he introduced himself and she said, "Nice to Nietzsche."
...they decided to keep things Platonic.
...but she was a cheerleader so he had to stick to Ordinary Language.
...he said, "I'd love to date you but I'm Kant."
...he was hoping to explore action theory, but she thought it would be a Sinn.
...but she was a real Paine in the butt.
...even though they got closer and closer he could Zeno future together.
...her sign was sine qua non.
...he begged the question but she refused.
...she wanted to take a break and asked, "Do you mind?" "No," he replied, "It doesn't matter."
(credit where it's due: this was a joint effort between me and my dad. I won't tell you which ones are his and which are mine, except to say that if it's dirty, it's likely his, and if it's punny, it's likely mine.)