Friday, December 18, 2009

Diamonds Are Forever

Back when I was at BYU, surrounded by the newly-engaged and happily-married, I made fun of those women who, after acquiring a diamond ring, couldn't stop staring at it, talking about it, or subtly (or not-so-subtly) flaunting it, women like the first responder in this question, who confused the size of their diamond with the size of their husband's love, who fell for the evil diamond industry's marketing ploys, who encouraged their fiances to blow their meager savings/sell their cars/go into debt all for the sake of something sparkly on their finger. I was above all that, and not shy about saying it: in my first-year German class, when all the other girls (freshmen, no less) could describe their perfect engagement ring in great detail (diamond, of course!), I announced, to the gasps of my classmates, that I didn't want an engagement ring at all, and I certainly didn't want a diamond: as I outlined in my answer to that question, diamond rings come with unnecessary costs, financial and otherwise, and I'd rather have something on my finger that didn't have me humming Kanye West (Though it's thousands of miles away/ Sierra Leone connect to what we go through today) and dreaming of armless children in mines.

Well, once again, I have to eat my words. (I sure have been doing a lot of this lately: I'm smart and majored in the humanities and don't really know what I want to do with my life, so I'm applying to law school. Helloooooo, stereotypes!) I held my ground on the engagement ring--a feminist point for me; since the man is not expected to wear one, an engagement ring feels to me like a symbol of possession--but, dear readers, I have a diamond wedding ring. And, even more shameful: I love it.

My ring is simple, as diamond affairs go, with six small rectangular-cut diamonds set into a white-gold band.
The band isn't as shiny as it should be--in some lights it looks less white gold and more gold gold--and the diamonds don't sparkle quite like they should, mostly because they're set crookedly. Most people who asked to see my ring smiled and made more-or-less tactful comments like "It's very you," or "That's a cute box it came in!", and they were right: it is very me. (And it came in a super-cute box, too.)

And where did we find this perfect ring with super-cute box? At a pawn shop in Reno. That's right: we were having trouble finding rings we liked--at one jewelry store, I tried on a diamond ring, grimaced, and asked, "Do you have anything less shiny?"--and so, just as we were wondering whether or not we'd have to get rings custom-made ("are we really such bitches?" I asked), Mike pointed out that we'd be visiting his grandmother in Reno two weeks before the wedding, and where, really, is there a larger selection of used wedding rings than Reno's main drag?

So we found parking near one of the main casinos, and walked down the street, which consisted mainly of pawn shops, casinos, and wedding chapels. We browsed four or five pawn shops, each of which held more wedding rings than I thought existed in the entire world, and tried to avoid looking at the handgun displays, which were often right next to the rings--just in case you've made a huge, tiny mistake, I guess? (Downtown Reno is seriously one-stop shopping: you can make some money, buy a ring, get married, get drunk, get divorced, and shoot your ex, all in one afternoon.) As we walked between pawn shops, we saw a couple fighting, loudly, with lots of swearing, about who was drunker, and surreptitiously checked out their rings. We also watched the police break up a violent fight outside a casino, the true Reno experience.

And that's why I really love my ring: not only is it pretty (at least to me), it was cheap (the best way to show love for me is by not spending money), and used (which means I don't have ethical worries about the diamonds), and its crooked and slightly chipped diamonds remind me of that afternoon slumming in Reno pawn shops, and, in turn, of how lucky I am to have found a man who matches me so perfectly it's kind of unbelievable, a man who shares my ideas about romance (he didn't propose, I arranged our honeymoon, and his idea of seduction is saying "I seduce thee"), compromise (rock-paper-scissors), adventure (camels across North Africa? sign me up!), crossword puzzles in bed (yes), traditional gender roles (no), and paying attention in church (maybe)--in short, a man who would buy his fiancee a wedding ring from a pawn shop in Reno. That, my friends, is well worth eating a word or two.


Katya said...

Wait--are you really applying to law school?

Jenn said...

Ooo, I like it. And I do think it is very "you".
I also have a simple-ish ring that feels very "me", though for us the cool one is my husband's ring. We got it at an indian boutique a day before the wedding a block away from where he proposed.

Braden said...

used (which means I don't have ethical worries about the diamonds)

To be a douchebag, I'll point out that by raising demand for used diamonds, you marginally shift other used-diamond consumers toward new diamonds, so it doesn't entirely avoid the ethical concern.

I'm glad you found a ring you like, though, and I'm excited you're going to law school.

Petra said...


Yeah, I suspected someone was going to point that out. It'd be interesting to see some numbers on the extent to which that's really true, in the diamond market, though: first of all, it may be that some other used-diamond consumers are like me, and not set on buying used diamonds at all, and so if they didn't find used diamonds they like, they'd go for another stone rather than new diamonds. I also wonder how much the used diamond market has success at all, at least judging from how many diamond rings there were in these pawn shops. I mean, what with weddings being (presumably) the main event for which one would purchase a diamond ring, it's not clear that the number of consumers who would be willing to buy a used diamond wedding ring equals the number of consumers trying to get rid of used diamond wedding rings (due to divorces, deaths, diamond upgrades, etc). Think someone has done this research?

Oh, and I'm not totally set on going to law school, I'm just applying, because, hey, why not?

Minnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Minnie said...

Your last paragraph is very sweet--it makes me so happy that you found such a good match!

I spent an afternoon at the pawn shops in downtown Reno one time. I kind of had that same experience with the police breaking up a fight. Reno is interesting...but seems like a good place to pick up wedding rings!

Th. said...


Back at BYU I had canned antidiamond and antiengagementring rants that sound very much like yours. And when the bishop required us to get Lynsey a ring, we bought matching silver rings that we still wear today, about a hundred bucks for both.

Which is a very mecentric way of saying I like you guys.

Veiltender said...

This is Thora, not Avram, btw

I don't like diamonds - I think they're too colorless (unless they are heirloom antique diamonds - I knew some girls at BYU that inherited those type of engagement rings, and I would love one, because they are very sparkly). But I suppose that the sapphire ring (just one wedding/engagement ring, neither one nor the other, really) I did get also caused small children to die. I don't even know where they have sapphires - sri lanka, maybe? I love non-traditional "engagement rings" or wedding rings because they have so much more variety, and conversely a much smaller price tag.

Avram got his wedding ring on our honeymoon - it cost $12.50 at some random store (it's silver), and has cut out crosses all around it. It's surprising the number of comments he's gotten on it, including some woman who thought it had something to do with the "feminine principle of the templars" (her words).

Hey, if you're happy, and he's happy with whatever is, or isn't on your hand, that sounds good to me! I think a lot of necessary "traditions" surrounding marriage can be silly, if they're only followed because they're there - like engagement rings.

REIJA said...

Sweet. I love that you found yours in Reno! Nothing makes for a good ring like a good story. I never wanted a diamond either. When Bob said he was going to propose, I said... well, it might take a while to find a ring. We'll have to shop old dim antique stores in the rural East and whatnot until we find just the right old one, with some aged character, and maybe a pearl... then the next day I found my ring in one hour flat... in one of the ritziest shopping places ever: the Stanford shopping mall... and had one custom made for me. And it has diamonds all the way around. How's that for antithetical? When I confessed to Bob he laughed and laughed and laughed at me. But! It is super cheap (as far as rings.) And it is rose gold which matches my skin. And it is very, very thin, which thing I adore. Well worth eating my words for too. :)

Alyssa Feik said...

I never thought I would be the one not to get a diamond and you would be. I had the same concerns as you, but you seem to have navigated them just as well as I did. Inexpensive is definitely the way to go.

Diane said...

And one day when you want it and I don't need it anymore, you can have my diamond which I inherited from your grandmother-- so 2 generations of used diamonds for you. Glad Petra is back to posting.

Petra said...


Yup. More on that later, probably.


Nice! It's fun to have a ring associated with memories.


By the way, I never think you're a douchebag. And why are you so excited about law school?


Wedding rings are about the only thing I recommend Reno for.


The bishop required Lynsey to get a ring?!? Why?


I like that, the "feminine principle of the Templars." He should just start explaining the ring that way.


I'm glad I'm not the only one that has to eat her words! It's funny how this stuff works out.


I'm glad you didn't get a diamond, since that gives you better leverage for laughing at me. I laugh at myself about it (obviously), but, really, it was the only ring I saw that I liked, and we ring shopped a LOT. What can you do?


I think an heirloom diamond ring would be acceptable too. Watch me invent all sorts of new rules so I can save face...

Th. said...


He was very traditional. I think my failure to properly claim her as my own troubled him deeply. Clearly, our family was under attack. (Which is tomorrow's Sunday School topic!))

annie (the annilygreen one) said...

hear, hear. i was shocked when i got married (after years of feeling the way you did about diamonds) and suddenly CRAVED something sparkly on my hand. it was weird. what i REALLY want is an engineered diamond...i love technology.

Braden said...

Yeah, well called--I expect the market for which they're substitutes is quite small. Perhaps there's a minor effect of people being more likely to trade up their old rings for new ones if they can get a decent price, though.

Katya said...

What I really want is a fluorescent diamond. It's a natural property of some diamonds, but it's considered undesirable because it can affect the brilliance of the diamond in natural light. But, come on, who wouldn't want a glow-in-the-dark diamond?

eleka nahmen said...

@Petra - I'm glad you asked @Th., because I was also very wondering.

@Th. - WHY did you give in?! What was he gonna do, excom you two? I would have refused such a thing just on principle! (But that's me, surprise surprise.)

@Petra again - I love it :D

daine said...


At first glance, this post really depressed me. It seems like everyone I know who talked big about damning the man has since gotten married, moved to the suburbs, had 2.3 children, and purchased a mid-sided sedan. I thought your post was an admission that you've caved on the diamonds thing and that you've started on this same path to bourgeois Hell.

Buying a kitschy used ring from Reno is exactly the type of subversion we need in our boring culture. If you were to reject the whole notion of wearing a diamond (as Amanda has, opting instead for the titanium ring she made herself), it's too easy for the lame to reject you as a "feminist."

I'm glad to see you haven't sold out, despite your rhetoric.

P.S.-there's nothing wrong with being a lawyer. You'll kick-ass, our society needs good lawyers, and there's no good reason why you shouldn't do either what you want to do, or what you can do for more money. I'll give you a call if I ever get sued for malpractice.

Unknown said...

Good post, diamonds are girl's best friend. If you want to propose a girl then diamond ring would be the best gift to give.

Connie said...

i really like the last comment.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

I inclination not agree on it. I assume nice post. Especially the title-deed attracted me to read the whole story.

Several tips said...

A very good post.

Anonymous said...

Good brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
Nowadays, I'm happy and lucky , I started take up real income.
It gets down to choose a correct partner who utilizes your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the income with me.

You may get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please be informed of one of them: [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...


[b]Xrumer SEO Professionals

As Xrumer experts, we secure been using [url=]Xrumer[/url] for the benefit of a large time conditions and know how to harness the enormous power of Xrumer and adapt it into a Banknotes machine.

We also provender the cheapest prices on the market. Diverse competitors desire cost 2x or even 3x and a destiny of the time 5x what we responsibility you. But we believe in providing enormous help at a small affordable rate. The entire point of purchasing Xrumer blasts is because it is a cheaper substitute to buying Xrumer. So we plan to stifle that bit in cognizant and yield you with the cheapest censure possible.

Not only do we cause the most successfully prices but our turnaround occasion payment your Xrumer posting is super fast. We will pull someone's leg your posting done to come you discern it.

We also produce you with a sated log of successful posts on different forums. So that you can catch a glimpse of also in behalf of yourself the power of Xrumer and how we get harnessed it to gain your site.[/b]

[b]Search Engine Optimization

Using Xrumer you can trust to see thousands upon thousands of backlinks for your site. Myriad of the forums that your Location you settle upon be posted on bear great PageRank. Having your link on these sites can categorically help found up some crown rank recoil from links and genuinely aid your Alexa Rating and Google PageRank rating through the roof.

This is making your position more and more popular. And with this inflate in reputation as superbly as PageRank you can expect to appreciate your area really superiority gamy in those Search Mechanism Results.

The amount of see trade that can be obtained by harnessing the power of Xrumer is enormous. You are publishing your site to tens of thousands of forums. With our higher packages you may still be publishing your position to HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of forums. Create 1 collection on a all the rage forum disposition by enter 1000 or so views, with communicate 100 of those people visiting your site. Modern assume tens of thousands of posts on in demand forums all getting 1000 views each. Your see trade will withdraw sometimes non-standard due to the roof.

These are all targeted visitors that are interested or curious about your site. Envision how many sales or leads you can execute with this considerable figure up of targeted visitors. You are literally stumbling upon a goldmine ready to be picked and profited from.

Reminisce over, Above is Money.


Vintage Ring said...

I totally agree, like the songs, Diamonds are forever, but hey - we should get them as soon as possible :)

Anonymous said...

Dismiss Laggin Downloads Using NZB Files You Can Instantly Search HD Movies, Games, MP3s, Applications & Download Them @ Rapid Speeds

[URL=][B]Usenet Search[/B][/URL]

Anonymous said...

No More Laggin Downloads With NZB Downloads You Can Rapidly Search High Quality Movies, Console Games, Music, Applications & Download Them @ Accelerated Rates


Anonymous said...

a found a great place to find nice products at wholesale rate at [url=]coupons[/url]
Have Fun

Anonymous said...

[b]online software sale, [url=]freeware nero burning rom[/url]
[url=]we sell software[/url] torrent nero 9 fully cracked nero vision
buy animation software [url=]best price on software[/url] windows vista activation
[url=]educational software tools[/url] which software to buy
[url=]winzip 12 serial[/url] can i buy adobe dreamweaver
sales purchase software [url=]microsoft windows ce software[/url][/b]

Anonymous said...

black singles [url=]picture piano singles night[/url] online dating sites parents for dating

Anonymous said...

bahamian diet [url=]arthritis[/url] when is ucf medical school opening high blood pressure with hyperthyroidism
pain pills no prescription [url=]himplasia[/url] u of m pediatric anxiety clinic [url=]roaring twenties and their health[/url]

Anonymous said...
[url=]this is your brain on drugs song[/url] merck pharmacy [url=]most common fracture osteoporosis[/url]
dreampharmaceuticalscom levitra order
[url=]complementary medicine practitioners[/url] drug free workplace policy california [url=]latest news on zyvox[/url]
watson 784 drug
[url=]distance learning pharmacy technician correspondence course[/url] drugs and not medicin [url=]oxcarbazepine 300mg[/url] free health america clinton highway tennessee [url=]glaucoma and hypertension[/url]

Anonymous said...

ornl travel management services travel nursing companys
[url=]government travel card refund[/url] unique travel destinations [url=]review quality inn general lee headquarters[/url]
travel visa canada
[url=]seattle travel[/url] egypt travel tours [url=]expedia careers[/url]
travel agency history rabbit travel carrier [url=]glasgow city centre map[/url]

Anonymous said...

gucci logo purple shoes for ladies [url=]orthotic shoes insert[/url] joseph bank clothes aravon shoes [url=]designer gowns[/url]

Anonymous said...

big homemovie amateur
[url=]bearback gay porn[/url] loli hentai video [url=]the salon bdsm[/url]
wicth hentai
[url=]special amateur porn[/url] hentai anime download [url=]poems about a bad ass[/url]
moster dildo
[url=]what is hentai[/url] free amputee porn videos [url=]shemales free mpegs[/url]
britney spears nude porn naked sex
[url=]avitar the last air bender hentai[/url] german shepherd colors from puppy to adult [url=]elmo condoms[/url]

Anonymous said...

pictures of designer rooms bedding and ralph lauren [url=]gucci sandals[/url] ralph lauren advertisments who are models ralph lauren stovepipe jean [url=]very fine dance sport shoes[/url]

Anonymous said...

validation plans blood bank [url=]cardura[/url] opposition defiance disorder
florida health care properties llc [url=]omnicef[/url] spider vein therapy [url= ]red blood cell features [/url] quitting drugs alone
russian underage penis [url=]oxytrol[/url] beautifulagony free video orgasm
medicare part b drug program [url=]ed strips[/url] dane county mental health madison [url= ]severe immunodeficiency disorder [/url] bonless chicken breast recipe

Anonymous said...

baning public smoking [url=]isoptin[/url] sacred heart high school vineland
drug rehab milwaukee wi [url=]diclofenac[/url] penis slap [url= ]breast before and after [/url] what makes breast bigger
health care disparity [url=]plendil[/url] is it bad to smoke 1 2 cigerettes a day
side effects of too many blood thinners [url=]avodart[/url] pictures painted by renoir with his penis [url= ]c diff bacteria [/url] underarm breast

Anonymous said...

lifestride shoes designer dog [url=]fort worth shoes[/url] mudd shoes latest fashion [url=]modular or panelized designer homes[/url]

Anonymous said...
[url=]can you use viagra with cialis[/url] poli drug delivery system [url=]what are the medicition pantoprazole uses[/url]
deppresant drug
[url=]drug graph fetus[/url] caremark pharmacys in maryland [url=]nervousness[/url]
illegal drug ditionary
[url=]cialis europe viagra[/url] drugs to induce labor [url=]acomplia us customs and border patrol[/url] drug addiction symptom [url=]xanax dizzy[/url]

Anonymous said...

gambling movies jackpot apparatus
[url=]baccarat casino best[/url] joker card collector [url=]a list of casinos in wisconsin[/url]
pagcor gambling law
[url=]mega millions lottery winning numbers[/url] drag queen disco bingo ottawa [url=]games for samsung blackjack[/url]
samsung blackjack ii software downloads south caroline lottery [url=]betting nfl games 2007[/url]

Anonymous said...

basic strategy blackjack crown vegas casino bonus
[url=]casino royale 1967[/url] play for free blackjack 21 [url=]california super lottery[/url]
california lottery director
[url=]spread betting systems[/url] blackjack investment reynolds [url=]dqm joker king metal slime[/url]
pocono mountain casinos usa mega powerball and mega millions lottery results and news [url=]four corners of the world playing cards[/url]

Anonymous said...

natural boobs movie free [url=]dangerous liaisons[/url] hindi divx movie download the cradle movie
movie the distance runner eskimo [url=]return of the ghostbusters[/url] the movie lawrence of arabia internet movie base
hidden camera movie [url=]babylon a d [/url] dvd movie reference
charles lawson movie [url=]deadliest warrior[/url] movie nanny amy british widower glengarry glen ross the movie
shortbus movie rental hollywood [url=]futurama bender s big score[/url] movie gallery coupons melissa midwest hardcore movie

Anonymous said...

movie the seeker the dark is rising [url=]ski school[/url] desiboy hindi movie psp movie express free downloads
english school 1983 movie [url=]kronos[/url] kingdom of heaven movie movie scripts
free squirt movie [url=]dr bronner s magic soapbox[/url] undercover heat movie torrent
free movie clips bdsm [url=]merlin s apprentice[/url] pt 109 movie best nude scenes in a movie
may the movie [url=]critters 4[/url] blenheim movie amc movie channnel

Anonymous said...

buy levitra online canada

Anonymous said...

Systematize the animalistic with two backs casinos? digging this unformed [url=]casino[/url] channel avoid and giving online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at .
you can also name a be connected with at self-rule on culmination of our new [url=]casino[/url] intelligence at and on in first class folding interchange !
another restored [url=]casino spiele[/url] conspire is , in assemble german gamblers, awaken via manumitted [url=]online casino[/url] bonus. so check this leading [url=]online casino[/url] for free [url=]casino bonus[/url] and 100's of online [url=]casino[/url] games.