Sunday, September 03, 2006

Groundbreaking New Research from the Field

The Top 5 Worst Places to Have a Mosquito Bite

5. The middle of the back. (Itchy and impossible to scratch.)
4. The groin. (Itchy and socially unacceptable to scratch.)
3. The face. (Itchy and disfiguring.)
2. The soles of the foot. (Itchy, with that itch constantly renewed through any contact with shoes or the ground.)
1. Any place where the mosquito can give you Japanese encephalitis, malaria, dengue fever, or yellow fever. (Any place such as, say, Indonesia.)

(You can trust me on this, people: since I currently have a bite in each of these places, I've spent some quality time thinking about the issue. A few more weeks, and I'll start considering myself a real expert in this matter. I wonder if there's any way to go pro with my newfound knowledge.)


Tolkien Boy said...

Maybe you can eat more bananas? Or is that a myth?

(I suppose now you'll look that up. Nice to know that you're the same person, even if you do live as far away from me as is humanly possible...)

flippin said...

I think that pretty much sums up my bug experience in Paraguay, too. Glad to know someone else understands.

Thirdmango said...

My least favorite place to have a bite is inside the ear.

noelle feather said...

Ditto to Thirdmango.

Petra said...

Well, guys, I've thought of a new worst place now, but I'm also pretty sure that it's not fit for mixed company. (Or, at the very least, I should get paid for publishing it on the internet.)

Oh, and TB: I looked it up, and it seems to be a myth, but nobody's really sure.